Stop it. Just FUCKING willyouplease STOP it!

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White men.  White men in America in 2010.  There seems to be an outcry from the White Male Constituency that they are suffering from some kind of racial bias, and that, as victims of racism, they deserve some kind of alleviation or mitigation or something diametrically opposed to the kick in the groin I'd LIKE to give them.  I swear, we're only weeks away from hearing calls for affirmative action.  What will it take to put an end to this ugly, artificial and dishonest campaign?  Honestly, I can't even think about it without seeing the leering visage of Rush Limbaugh.  Liars, charlatans and bigots.  Ok, let's think it through.

The first question one has to ask is who, exactly, is doing this discriminating against white men?  Is it other white men?  Because overwhelmingly, the business owners and decision makers in America are white men, and historically they have actually quite blatantly favored other white men.  If it requires people of color being in a position to exercise racial prejudice against white males, as represented in the fear mongering that President Obama favors African Americans over whites, then the opportunity for real world expression of this racial animosity is tiny.

Which is not to say that there are no poor white men in America.  Of course there are, plenty of them.  But they are not poor because they are being discriminated against because they are white.  They are poor because, in post-Reagan American economy, opportunities for upward mobility have been reduced to effectively zero.  If you want to know if an American will be wealthy as an adult, you need merely look to see if he or she was wealthy as a child.  The greatest predictor of wealth in America is birth status.

Second, and more importantly, you have to wonder where is the evidence of this anti-white bigotry?  White men still seem to have the vast majority of the money and the power in the US.  They occupy overwhelming majorities in State Houses, Legislatures, Congress and the Judiciary, while blacks and Hispanics occupy overwhelming majorities in penitentiaries and inner city poverty.  The thing that makes each of these examples of anti-white racism so ridiculous is that each is a small anecdote out of day-to-day life, a conflict (remember Henry Louis Gates?) or the kinds of old resentments that America's ugly past has built into the family and community history of most of her citizens.  There is precisely NO evidence of the kind of widespread, systematic and institutionalized unfair treatment that we can, tragically, so easily document in the case of African Americans and other people of color.

As a final note, there is something else that needs to be mentioned when we are talking about race relations in America.  It seems that there are a lot of white people in America who have grown frustrated at a society that has been moving past it's own history of racial animosity for over fifty years.  Well represented by the teabaggers and their ilk, they seem desperate to be allowed to express public racial fear, resentment and hatred without being considered racists.  How that is even possible is unclear, but you see them constantly railing against being forced to speak in "PC Terms", when they'd like nothing more than to be able to use raw racial slurs in the discourse.  You see them finding it difficult in modern America to openly hate Black people, so they turn quickly to Latinos, who they can tar as "illegals".  It's odd that even though immigration is down due to the economy, deportations are up significantly and crime along the border is at the lowest levels in decades, the outcry against the so-called "illegals" gets louder and uglier.  I suppose we are not supposed to notice that it's actually a hatred for Hispanic people being couched in immigration terms.  Or perhaps we ARE supposed to notice - these white people seem to be trying to make their mindless hatred clear.  And the worst expression of this desire to go back to a white supremacist world where hatred of other races led to regular, open slurs and dehumanization, and incitement to violence is the treatment we're seeing of Muslims, both foreign and American.  The excuse, as inaccurate and deceitful as it is, is "they attacked us".  But it's become obvious - that's just another excuse for a large number of white American racists to vilify and discriminate against another group who is not like them.  It seems almost part of their DNA.

A Teachable Moment?

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So depending upon who or what you read, there is apparently a lesson to be learned from the whole Shirley Sherrod/NAACP debacle.  And to the extent that this entire incident has been greatly illustrative, they're right.  Where they go wrong is there are THREE lessons here, of equally desperate importance, each standing alone from the others, and each crying out for an end to the denial and delusion that surrounds it.

First, there is the speed of the so-called "news cycle".  Yes, in the age of cable TV, the internet and smart phones, it has gotten very close to instantaneous, and in this globalized society, there's always somebody awake somewhere, contributing to the tsunami of information, commentary and spin.  There's no doubt that this is utterly toxic to any possibility that the dialog will be thoughtful, considered and productive.  But when this 'unsafe at any speed' mindset bleeds over into policy-making, or even personnel decisions, then it's time to step back and reconsider the value of partial information.  In the specific case of the Obama administration, it seems as if they just haven't come to terms with the fact that they are going to be attacked no matter what they do, and while they will take hits in the media, in the long run if they take the time to gather all of the data and context and act in a measured, responsible way, they'll come off looking better than if they just react to anything anybody dumps on the White House lawn.

Second, this ridiculous and specious argument we find ourselves having about race.  No, not the REAL conversation about race, the one we sometimes come fairly close to having before we skitter away in fear and acrimony, or watch it deteriorate into a juvenile shouting match to see who can claim the mantle of the aggrieved party in the loudest and most obnoxious terms.  I mean this other argument about race, the offensive one being put forward by white men like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck and Breitbart that somehow it is white men who are the victims of racism in America today.  The concept is laughable, except the consequences are deadly, and the future appears to be one of a nation at loggerheads over it's own growth and diversity.  It's time for the media and thoughtful people of all ideological stripes to acknowledge that white men are not oppressed in America today, and any fear that they might suffer from racial prejudice or bigotry is obviously false, and must be assumed to be manufactured to offset perfectly reasonable claims that there are white people in this country who are bigots.  There's just no way to take this discussion seriously, despite the willingness of the media to try.

Third, and actually most important, because it's turning out to be the hardest thing for other journalists to come out and say, it the willingness of activists and advocates to create false or misleading data that supports their political position and hand it off to the media as a viable story.  Whether this constitutes edited video, photoshopped images or counterfeit documents, it's very easy to create 'evidence' that proves whatever you want it to prove, and sometimes it's not as easy as it was in this case to get to the truth.  But now that ship has sailed, real journalists, out of self preservation if nothing else, need to come down hard on false, misleading or manufactured media events.  Anyone found purveying, producing or participating in stories that include artificially modified audio, video, images or documents needs to be summarily excommunicated from the business, never to be taken seriously again.  There should be a taint on all their stories forever.  It should be one strike and you're out.  Brietbart's been caught red-handed twice - why should anyone ever again assume he can be trusted with any bit of inflammatory or newsworthy media again?  He is left only to be mocked, and, for what it's worth, Tucker Carlson's Daily Caller should be on probation, on a very short leash.

If the other media sources allow lying, ideologically driven, blatantly dishonest outlets to occupy the same level of trust and credibility that they seek to represent, then they all lose.  And, of course, so do we...

Kashmir Conundrum

What is it about this place?

I understand that in most cases a sovereign nation is loathe to give up even one inch of territory, for in the final analysis a nation is nothing more than its land and its people.  And in most cases there are commpelling reasons for a nation to cling to it's territory, and even, when circumstances allow, to increase it.  Whether it's industry, tourism or nationalism, governments will fight seperatism and go to war over borders, even the most arbitrarily drawn.

Which brings us to Kashmir.  When the British drew the line separating India from Pakistan, they did so primarily on the basis of religious and sectarian identification.  In Kashmir, they got it wrong.  The people of Kashmir don't want to be part of India.  The Pakistanis don't feel they SHOULD be part of India.  Only the Indians, guided by the logic of nationalism and supported by a historical line drawn by a foreigner for political reasons, want the land and people of Kashmir to remain part of India.

What, exactly, does India get out of the deal?  A restive population, a history of endless wars and low-level fighting, a tremendous cost to keep the border garrisoned and the population controlled, and now the threat of a sudden escalation that leads to a nuclear exchange.  There is no industry to speak of in Kashmir.  Remote and rugged, in a high valley between the Himalayas and the Pir Panjal, Kashmir's best and only hope of contributing to GDP would be tourism - if only it wasn't a heavily militarized war zone.  So it drains manpower and money, contributes to South Asian distrust and instability, and for all India's willingness to fight and bleed, contributes nothing but cost and risk.

Surely a deal might be struck between India and Pakistan whereby Kashmir reverts to Pakistan sovereignity and India is recompensed fairly for the transfer of land.  Certainly the world would not be changed in any significant way, except for a reduction in tension and nuclear threat.  India would still have all her power, prestige and even a little extra wealth.  Pakistan would have a piece of land at the top of the world populated by people who WANT to be Pakistanis.  The world would have one less looming conflict.

I'm sure there are strong Indian counter arguments.  I'm not an expert, so I'm certain I've oversimplified a great deal of the discussion here.  But at it's most fundamental level it's difficult to argue with the basic premise:  If, as a nation, you can reduce tensions, eliminate an ongoing headache and increase your national wealth, it seems that losing what amounts to nothing more than a tiny sliver of land supporting an unhappy population would be something to be considered favorably.

***BREAKING*** I Slept With Carly Fiorina AND Meg Whitman

Sadly, it is my civic duty to admit, at this time, that over the last two years, on many, many occasions, I have had inappropriate, intimate relations with Carly Fiorina.  Also, even more sadly, with Meg Whitman too.  Now you might be asking yourself at this point "mikey, what would constitute APPROPRIATE intimate relations with either Ms. Whitman or with Ms. Fiorina, but that just proves you're a hater and very likely a Looksist bigot.

The irony is I met Carly when I bid on a 'grab bag' of computer hardware and office supplies being auctioned on eBay.  My bid of $4.70 won, and when I went to Palo Alto to pick up the goods, I found it was Carly who held the auction.  The items in question were four good sized boxes containing laptops. staplers, paper clips, ball point pens and a couple thousand envelopes, all clearly labeled "Hewlett Packard".  She offered me a vodka as she explained that she had come across the boxes in a dumpster and, well, one thing led to another.  This afternoon of passion quickly developed into a sick, dysfunctional relationship where we would meet in a anonymous hotel room, drink the better part of a bottle of Vodka and we would play out the same scene.  I was the "Board of Directors",  and she was the "CEO".  I would fire her in very harsh terms, and as a tactic to retain her position as CEO she would sleep with me.  This apparently freed her to act the wanton slut, but I always felt dirty afterwards, and would have to take several showers.

A few months later I was contacted by eBay's private security firm.  They said they were investigating auctions of stolen office products and suggested it might be best if I came down to the office and answered their questions.  Completely intimidated and fearful, I acquiesced to their demands and drove immediately to the company headquarters in San Jose.  I told them everything about the auction and it's aftermath, whereupon Ms. Whitman burst in and demanded the detectives leave the room.  She took me to a sumptuous office where we smoked a bong.  She wandered around the office, becoming increasingly upset, muttering "that plastic floozy, I'll show HER".  Suddenly and without warning, she took off her dress, walked directly over to me and kissed me passionately.  Well, I had no power to resist, and another dysfunctional intimate relationship was born.

Now you may think I have political motives for making these statements now, but the honest truth is that I just can't live with the lies and deception any more.  I hope this announcement has no impact on the election outcome, and I hope you'll all just leave me alone.  Much like Tony Hayward, I just want my life back...

Persian Poker

President Obama was locked in a high stakes game of chess between the US and her European allies and the Iranians over the Iranian nuclear research program.  And any way you looked at the board, Obama was winning.  He had dabbled in dialog just enough to free himself from the accusations of unilateral arrogant war monger that (justifiably) dogged the Bush administration.  Then he went hard at Iran, meaning to apply as much political and economic pressure as he could deliver, short of an actual act of war like a blockade.  He worked with the Russians throughout the START negotiations, and he worked both with and around the Chinese, and all the momentum was moving his way.

Except there was one thing he didn't notice.  The Iranians weren't playing chess.  They were playing poker.  They sat back and waited for the hand they wanted to play, then they pushed in all their chips.  And as Obama sat, contemplating an increasingly favorable board, he suddenly discovered that all the action was on the poker table, and it was his play.

It will be hard for the UN to move forward on a sanctions resolution when the Iranians have just agreed to the American proposal.  It will be hard for the US to find a way to undo a deal they are not actually a central part of - the Turks hold the LEU in a kind of escrow, the Russians and the French deliver the 20% enriched uranium to Iran and take possession of the LEU, and if they don't deliver the 20% uranium the Turks merely return Iran's LEU.  In Europe, Russia and China they heave a sigh of relief as a sanctions resolution now would be tantamount to refusing to take Yes for an answer.

The interesting thing is that whether you believe the Iranians are working on a weapons program or not, the outcome is exactly the same.  Iran has repeatedly denied that they want anything but a civilian nuclear program, and the IAEA has been unable to find any evidence that they are in fact developing a bomb.  The US and Europe, along with the increasingly hysterical Israelis, have repeatedly accused the Iranians of developing nuclear weapons, in spite of the lack of empirical evidence.  In the face of those ongoing, unsupported accusations, even while denying them, the Iranians have had no choice but the play a defensive game as the demands for "punishing sanctions" become more strident.

So now, the UN will adopt a "wait and see" strategy on sanctions.  Iran will continue to enrich, both the 3½% LEU and the approximately 1 kg a month worth of 20% U235 they have been enriching since they were unable to fuel their medical reactor with fuel rods purchased on the International Market.  The US and Europe will make loud, angry complaints about deceit, dishonesty and the ever popular 'too little too late'.  The Israelis will make more explicit threats of war, but will have no real choice but to stand down while the international community is actively working with the Iranians on the fuel cycle.

The Iranians, by outplaying the US in much the way Ayatollah Sistani outplayed Bush on the first Iraqi elections, have bought another six months of peace.  Another Friedman Unit for reason to win out over the politics of fear.  Governments create and build up these boogymen in order to increase their political power among their domestic constituency - if it's not Saddam Hussein, if it's not Hugo Chavez, if it's not Mullah Omar, it can be Mahmoud Amedinejad.  They serve a purpose, but history keeps teaching us that the political game of the "existential threat" can get out of control pretty easily.  It's good to see the game get changed, at least a little.

Would you like a Unicorn with that?

I am amused.  Americans seem to become less realistic as time goes by.  They seem to believe that just because they want to be 100% safe 100% of the time, then that's the way things should be.  They seem to believe that they should have access to any and all services they might ever want, but these services should not cost them anything, and should never do anything they don't like.  This attitude shows up quite often in discussions of tax policy, and an even more fantastic version has popped up in the last couple weeks over the social networking site Facebook.

Part of it is that people are just inherently confused when they talk about privacy, particularly perceived violations of privacy.  Let's be clear - we all have information that we want to keep private.  This is perfectly reasonable.  It is a violation of our privacy if someone with access to that information takes it and uses it maliciously, or for their own profit.  But this entire construct is premised on our reasonable intent to keep that information private, and our reasonable expectations of how our information will be handled.  For example, let's say you have a health condition that you want to keep private.  If your insurer provides that information to your bank without your permission, you have every right to feel your privacy has been abused.  If you tell 100 random people on the subway, even if you exhort them to keep it to themselves, you cannot complain later that your privacy has been violated.  If you take out a billboard and list your health condition on it, you can no longer have any expectation of privacy.

Now let's think about Facebook.  With over 400 million users, it's obvious that as a community we want an online network site like Facebook.  And we have made it repeated and emphatically clear that we are not willing to pay a monthly fee for that service.  But an operation like Facebook is a huge, complex, expensive business undertaking, and must be able to generate fairly large amounts of revenue in order to even exist.  To expect them not to try to find profitable ways to use the information they get from their huge user community is wildly unrealistic, indeed, if enough sources of revenue were closed off they would cease to be available for people to use.  And if you say another will spring up when they're gone, that's true, and they will have the same requirements for revenues and so will seek the same profit opportunities.

So if we want there to be a Facebook for us to use at no charge, we're going to have to be realistic about how they are going to use the information we provide.  So it's a valuable exercise to think about the data we provide, and how important it's remaining out of the hands of professional marketers and market researchers actually is.  If Facebook knows you like Radiohead and Cold Stone Creamery, do you REALLY care if they tell people that?  If so, you simply don't belong on Facebook - any social networking site is going to easily meet your definition of evil.  Most of the information we post on Facebook is highly banal, and it's exploitation by marketers is pretty harmless.

Which leads us to the other kind of information.  You're going through a divorce and ugly custody fight.  You have AIDS.  You're an atheist.  You would prefer this information remain private.  Well, here's the hard truth. It is YOU who is responsible for keeping your privacy private.  If you choose to post this type of information on Facebook, or any other internet site, you have effectively lost control of it.  It is out there, available, and subject to being read, viewed, captured, measured, counted, compiled and otherwise used.  But your privacy wasn't violated - you posted the information on the INTERNET!  You no longer can have an expectation of privacy - no matter what you hear, no matter what the site's privacy policy says, many things can and do happen and you can never get that information 'back'.

So the answer is simple.  Use Facebook, enjoy it, there's music and games and friends and events and laughter.  But remember:  Your privacy is YOUR responsibility - think about what you're posting before you post it.  If it's not something you'd be comfortable telling your boss, or the bus driver, or the cashier at the grocery store, you probably should think twice about posting it on the internet.  And the other stuff?  The bands and movies you like, the foods you eat, the games, the friends?   Maybe if you think about it, that stuff isn't quite so private after all...

Justified

There was never a question about it.  If there was going to be a Television Series that credited Elmore Leonard as Executive Producer, I was going to watch that Television Series.  In the (inconceivable) case that it turned out to be awful, I would probably watch it anyway way too long, before grudgingly admitting it wasn't up to his masterful standards.

Justified isn't awful.  A nearly perfect combination of writing, dialog, casting and sense of place, it features the kind of interesting and colorful characters you would expect from Mr. Leonard, along with stories that move and dance and swirl gracefully amid dense layers of texture and sensation.

Timothy Olyphant OWNS the Raylan Givens character, playing it straight as a man barely if at all troubled by his own inability to temper his behavior to fit the requirements of his job or even the expectations of his community.  His frequently rueful recognition that what he is going to do (or has just done) will have negative consequences does not result in any consideration that another path was ever even possible - for him, it simply was not.  In deference to post modern story telling, nothing is black and white in Justified's world.  People are complex, motivations are chaotic, loyalties are murky and people don't always do what you expect them to.  The way people react to ever - shifting realities, sometimes in extraordinary ways, while remaining the banal creatures who love and hate and eat and fight, who cannot escape either their own history nor the events in their life that become their history has long been the staple that informs Leonard's novels with their richness and memorability.

Hell, even the theme song is like nothing I've ever heard before.  It's actually blend of bluegrass and rap they unsurprisingly call "Gangstagrass" and it sounds kind of like what you'd get if Leadbelly covered Rage Against the Machine.

Do yourself a favor.  Put your expectations in your pocket and check it out...